why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
