oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
