the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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