After last night, I could never be a politician.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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