Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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