You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
