i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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