Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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