she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize