is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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