Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize