"it" just moved
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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