She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
