when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
