If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
