You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
