you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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