Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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