let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
two words...techno handjob
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
