after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
