redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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