I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
