She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
