We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
