you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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