Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize