508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
