Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
MIDGETS
????
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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