tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
