I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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