why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
