I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Couch. On fire.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize