8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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