i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
