normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
