We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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