when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
