I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
