Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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