whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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