it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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