last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
