remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
