Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
