can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
