So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
