Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
