is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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