No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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