I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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