I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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