just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
