OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
