YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
