He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
