Sry I called you an 8
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
