I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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