pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Randomize
