Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
