it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
