I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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